Before Church: Victims First

Before Church

Sunday August 11, 2019

Confessions of a Church Hopper: Victims First

Isaiah 61:1-5

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor,

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound,

to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God

to comfort all who mourn,

to grant to those who mourn in Zion –

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

Brokenhearted, captive, in prison, bound, mourning, living in ashes – I can think of no better descriptors for victims of child sexual abuse.  And when it happens in church, the wound is that much deeper. How do we respond?  It must always be: victims first.

Wounded church, where a youth pastor sexually abused dozens of young children – that’s one of the churches I wandered into unawares.  Unreported for years these allegations recently surfaced, and church leaders immediately called police and church authorities - exactly the right response.  The perpetrator, who had moved on to another church, was removed from his job and arrested. Then the story broke like a storm in the local media.  Internal investigations from the denomination were thorough, and church discipline was imposed by denominational leaders.  One of the requirements was a sermon on the topic of sexual abuse by clergy, and that’s the Sunday I visited. 

Prayer started the service, prayer for the preaching pastor and for all the victims – not just of this pedophile but for all the silent victims who were undoubtedly sitting in the pews – statistically there were dozens more among us.  I cannot imagine stepping into my dream ministry job only to find out that some evil predecessor had muddied the holy water with the foul filth of his unrepentant sin, devouring the souls of children even as he abused their bodies.  This kind of betrayal does not just harm us physically, it is a soul-rending violence that attacks us in a place where we should be most safe: at church.  It ruptures the trust we should naturally have in people who care for us, and has life-long consequences.  As part of their corporate penance, the pastoral team met with every victim, apologized to them, and worked to find them help for recovery.  The preacher also apologized from the pulpit.  He told the victims not to give up on Jesus Christ or on the Gospel, that God always was and is, trustworthy. 

Real healing for sexual abuse victims comes from exorcising the pain, often buried for years in silence and shame.  Victims find healing in finally telling the truth about what happened, and being assured that it was not their fault.  Sometimes they realize, for the first time ever, that a trusted adult targeted them and used a position of authority to make opportunities to molest, rape, and do violence to them.  The shame belongs not to them, but to the abuser, the guilt belongs, not to them, but to the abuser, the punishment belongs not to them, but to the abuser.  Counselors help victims process their emotional and psychological pain, but spiritual healing only comes from Christ.  And how do we offer spiritual healing when the very place of healing was the place of betrayal?  People who have suffered such abuse sometimes come back to a cleansed church, sometimes go to another church, but often stop going to church altogether.  Who can blame them? 

Public confession is hard, but it is the first and right step for healing the church family.  Silence does not protect the church, but reduces it to a mere institution.  We, as God’s people, are not in the business of preserving institutions, we are in the business of healing through grace. Victims first. Our prayers, our witness, our work should be about healing the wounded.  All of us come to Christ with the need to be healed from something; our testimony of our healing should offer hope to those whose wounds have not yet been bound up.  Christ came and suffered to bind up these wounds that are deep in the brokenhearted, exchanging our ashes and mourning for joy, for comfort, for liberty, for the oil of gladness and garments of praise. Real, deep healing makes us God’s planting of righteous oaks, strong and mighty in His power, re-made by grace.  A mere institution may survive the wounds of sexual abuse, but it is a shell, a building, a social gathering.  A loving community of wounded people seeking and offering healing to each other in Christ will not only survive, but thrive as the people of God, the family of God, the church. Walking the humble path of confession and repentance and restitution together is the only way to cleanse the damage of the abuser and bring spiritual healing to those who suffered abuse.

Are you a victim of sexual abuse?  Have you carried the pain and guilt and shame that belongs to your abuser? Let it go. It’s not your fault.  Come to Jesus.  Let Him shoulder this burden for you.  And seek out some help from a pastor and a Christian counselor.  Find a church where faith meets practical healing, help, and prevention of this evil.  God promises to bind up the brokenhearted; let Him start with you.  Spiritual healing is possible, and it is found in churches filled with the Holy Spirit.

Have we learned our lesson yet?  Have the headlines and court cases about sexual abuse taught us about our responsibility as church members?  A good church does not say, “This could never happen here;” a good church takes all possible precautions to prevent sexual abuse, and also has a protocol in place if allegations ever arise that start with: calling the police, suspending the accused, getting help from denominational leaders.  We can’t be like the world, we can’t protect the church like it’s an institution.  The church is not buildings or bank accounts, the church is people.  Soul-winning and soul-healing is what we are about, and that always starts with victims first.