Before Church – Sunday September 29, 2019

How Do You Remember Who Your Backup Is?

by Erin Stone

“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  - Jeremiah 29:11  ESV

This was a verse I heard so much in my youth. It was even the verse of our summer church camp the year after I attempted suicide. This had been my verse for a long time. It is a great way for me to ground myself when the weight of the world is ready to crush me.

In our current society, we are bombarded by so much information. What we should look like, how we should dress, what we should think, how we should speak; and it’s exhausting. It is easy to understand how all of these pressures along with work, school, bullies, kids, family and significant other dynamics can cause anyone to want to pull their hair out.

This is the moment. This is it. When I am teetering on the edge of the abyss of my mental and emotional sanity, I have an out. This is when I pull out one of my many verses (usually this one) and remind myself to Whom I belong. I am a child of the Most High God. In Him, I have HOPE and a FUTURE. Not only am I not walking this path alone, but I am walking it hand in hand with The Creator. The One that designed me to be exactly who I am. Anxiety, depression and all. Though a work in progress, I am unique and precious. Just like you. And though we are broken, God, the Great Designer, uses imperfect people for perfect purpose all the time!

You are so much more important than you can possibly realize. And while things are not always easy. While things often don’t go our way, there is more than this life. There is more than just this moment. And God has a plan for each of us. You just happen to only be in the middle of the journey right now.

Now I know that this verse may seem misleading because God never promised us an easy road. He didn’t promise luxury, wealth, or comfort in this life. He promises so much more. He knows what is to come for each and every one of His children. That is such a comfort to me. Knowing that the God of the Universe has a plan for me. And for you.

I have battled with depression and anxiety for many years now. The older I get, the easier the battle becomes because I’m ready for it. I have my armor, support system and action plan ready to go. I understand that many people are still in the most difficult parts of this battle or similar ones. I think that it’s important to understand that we are being held within the arms of the Almighty Savior. He is our Hope. He is our future. And what an amazing future it will be!

I would like to challenge you to find a verse that really speaks to your soul. That really breathes life and love into you. Something that reminds you that you are not alone and that you have the BEST backup imaginable in our Lord Jesus Christ. Memorize this verse. Rehearse this verse. Know it forwards and backwards and put it into your arsenal. Then, when this verse is a part of you, choose another. Pack your arsenal full of love and life. When the dark comes, you will have the light within you to withstand the storm. God bless you.

Before Church Blog

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Make Your Mark! by Elizabeth Stone

Matthew 4: When Jesus was tired and hungry, when He had been fasting and praying in the wilderness for 40 days, the devil comes to tempt the Savior. Satan doesn’t come when Christ is rested, strong, and satisfied with good food and drink; he comes when Jesus is physically vulnerable.  The devil attacks on three fronts: hunger, suicide, and power with glory.  Each time the devil is trying to get Jesus to obey him, rather than God. Most of all, the devil is trying to derail the plan of salvation. You see Satan knows that Jesus, well, He’s THE GUY.  So if he can get Jesus to sin – even once – then Jesus can no longer do the work of the Father.  And let’s not give the devil too much credit here; Satan cannot see the future and has no idea of the Father’s plan to save us. But when God steps out of eternity in the Person of the Son, Satan knows he has to stop Jesus, he has to stop THIS GUY. 

Round 1: make stones into bread.  Use divine power to satisfy personal need.  Jesus counters with Scripture: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” Round 2: Jump off the pinnacle of the Temple. Jesus’ Scriptural response again: “You shall not put the LORD your God to the test”.  Round 3: worship Satan to get power with glory, but without the cross. Jesus responds: “You shall worship the LORD your God and Him only shall you serve.”  Every one of these temptations was designed to derail Christ’s mission to save the world. Today let’s focus on #2. 

In Jesus’ time, the Temple of the LORD stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, the highest place in the city.  Built on a foundation of immovable stone that still stands today, it rose 135 feet above the plane.  When the devil took Jesus here, it was to have a high enough position to ensure death if He caved, if He would throw Himself off the Temple to see if the angels would rescue Him.  Crafty little demon even uses Scripture to convince Jesus that this is okay.  But Jesus knows it is a trick, and knows that if He completes suicide, if He dies like this, the plan of salvation dies too.  Christ’s mission, His contribution to the world, is to die for our sins, at the right time, in the right way.  So Jesus passes; He chooses, as He does so many times in His lifetime, to fulfill His mission in God’s way and in God’s time.

Are we any different?  Does Satan wait until we are strong to tempt us? No, never.  And when he comes to us with the temptation to end it all, to complete suicide, it is so that we won’t do our mission for God either, it is so we will never make our contribution for God’s Kingdom.  The devil wants us to cut our lives short so that we never share the love of Christ, never share the good news of salvation, never find our calling and use our gifts, never live our lives out in grace.  Because Christ died for us, we have the blessing of living for Him.  So if the devil comes at you with this particular temptation – to complete suicide – remember two things: Satan wouldn’t be trying this on with you if you weren’t vulnerable, so get some help to find your strength; secondly, Satan wants to stop your mission too, so don’t deny the world the awesome contribution of your mission in Christ.

At her recent book signing, author and speaker Cathy Fyock signed her book to me: “Make your mark!”  This is what we are called to do, to live our lives out fully and make our mark for Christ. After all, He made His mark for us, on the palms of His hands.  Can we do any less for Him?  

Notes: Matthew 4:1-11; Deuteronomy 8:3; 6:16; 6:13; Photo credit: Greg Stone, Jerusalem, model of the Second Temple.

Before Church Blog

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Because this week (September 8-14 2019) is National Suicide Prevention Week, I am hosting a guest blog by my daughter and co-author, Erin Stone. 

We All Know Where We Have Been. Do You Know Where You’re Going?

by Erin Stone

As Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week approaches, I am hit with overwhelming feelings. Anyone that knows my history will understand because I attempted suicide when I was 17.

At 29 years old now, I can’t believe how amazing my journey has been. 12 years seems like a long time and quite a bit of separation. As they say, hind sight is 20/20. If 17 year-old me could have looked into the future and seen what my life would look like now, I’m not sure I could have gone through with my attempt.

I am so thankful that I am still living in this world. I have so many opportunities to change the direction of my life. When I was 17, I couldn’t image a life like this. A life where I am so happy to be alive. A life where I have people that I can feel their love and acceptance like a weighted blanket (in case you didn’t notice, I want one!). A life where even when everything at work is going wrong, I’m stressed, I’m tired, the dogs pooped everywhere and the cats threw up on the bed, I’m good. I may have a moment of freaking out. Who wouldn’t? But then I just have to laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation.

Why do I say any of this? Well, I want everyone to know that there is an end. It may take some time, but the pain and suffering ends. It has to. You have to let it end. My attempted suicide is such a small part of my life now. It is barely a blip on the scale of my life. I refuse to be defined by the bad things in my life. We go through bad things in this world. We go through terrible, heart breaking things in this life. The key is to not let any of those things define you.

Here’s the point though, this isn’t about me. It’s not about my history. This is about you. This is about the people that you love. If this week means as much to you as it does to me, then you have been touched by suicide or something just as difficult. It is such a difficult thing to put your head around. Someone feeling so low that they couldn’t imagine another moment on this earth.

This is why this week is so important: to let people know that they are not alone. That they have so much to offer this world. And knowing that we were each preciously and fearfully made by the most loving and all-powerful God, doesn’t hurt at all.

The more you rely and grow in Him, the easier this all becomes. Be the light to the world, as God is our Light. Share that love with others and let it GROW! When everything is dark and the walls are caving in, remember, Jesus went before us and showed us the path.

I am NOT a victim. I am THRIVING! You are NOT a victim. You are THRIVING! We have so much power, because we have God. Use this week as a reminder that through God all things are possible. He specializes in impossible. It’s really His sweet spot of operations.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13 -ESV

Before Church

Sunday, September 1, 2019

The King of Comeback

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our mortal flesh . . . So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.  For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory, beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.   

 ~ II Corinthians 4:7-12;16-18 (ESV)

Sad news reached us recently of the death of Bill Boyd, a great man and brother in Christ.  A veteran, a small business owner, a loving husband, father, and grandfather, Bill was the epitome of integrity, with a great work ethic.  As a church leader he had supported and built ministry that blessed his family and his community.  He was my father-in-law’s lifelong friend, and the two of them had been tearing around getting into trouble since primary school.  Wherever they went, they lifted the spirits of everyone around with their crazy antics and laughter, and you wouldn’t know it from looking at him or hearing him laugh that Bill was: The King of Comeback.

Obituaries tell us the highlights of a person’s life, but if you read between the lines you know there were tough times. Every victory is punctuated by the faith to meet challenges, to face hardship, to overcome obstacles, to grieve sorrows, to heal from illness, to recover from heartache; to come back over and over from troubles and be: The King of Comeback.  Whether these came in military service, building a business, a life-threatening illness for a child, making ministry happen in rural Appalachia, the loss of parents, a child, a grandchild, each time Bill’s faith brought him through, each time he came back.  Over and over he battled cancer, coming back from that dread disease and beating it more than once. He was such an inspiration to me when I faced cancer; if Bill could come back from the brink of death with a full head of hair, so could I.  But after his final battle here on earth he did not come back: HE CAME HOME!

We, too, are the kings and queens of comeback.  The abundant life that Jesus promises us is created in the negative space, times of trusting God when difficulties multiply, trusting God that over and over there is going to be enough grace today for today’s troubles.  Like Bill, we come back over and over and over again, until one day we, too, will come home.  In every situation, we trust God that He will bring us through; bring us through affliction, through being perplexed, through persecution, even through being struck down, because in Christ we carry around the life, the very life of the Son of God, in our bodies.  We are not crushed, driven to despair, forsaken, or destroyed because Jesus is with us, giving life to our mortal bodies.  As we age our physical bodies get weaker and weaker, but our spiritual nature gets stronger and stronger.  The life Jesus Christ gives sustains us in the troubles of this world, but it makes us indestructible for eternity.  Walking by faith is how we always move toward life.  The longer we walk with Him, the more life we gain.  So the momentary afflictions of life, of sorrow, of trials and tribulations give way in the end to an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.  That’s when we stop being the queens and kings of comeback and we come home to Heaven, receiving our crowns and stepping into a paradise of unending joy.  Lean on Jesus when the times get tough, and count on Him to bring you through, to come back each and every time, until you finally come home.  Bill will be there with his cowboy boots on waiting to welcome you in.

Before Church: From Life Span to Survival Rate

Sunday, August 25, 2019

“For this is the will of the Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in Him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” John 6:40

Life.  It is what drives us, that survival instinct that makes us fight to live.  This verse comes from the famous “I am the bread of life” speech the Lord Jesus gives, and we hear, over and over, that He is the source of life, He is the new manna come down from Heaven, and in Him is eternal life. If Christ is our life, if we look on Him and believe in Him for our sustenance, then we will have eternal life, Jesus Christ will raise us up from death, on our last day we will be resurrected to paradise.  That’s His promise.

My expectations were high.  A year out from cancer surgery and radiation, and I had great expectations, but these doctors are cautious fellows.  My two biggest questions: am I cancer free?  How long before the pain goes away?  Answers: not encouraging.  Pain?  Might never go away; scar tissue and residue from the radiation targeting implant may mean lifelong pain.  And “Cancer free”? That’s a label you get after ten years of clean scans, and I’m nine years out from that.  Because after cancer, they stop talking about your life span and start talking about your survival rate.  How long has it been since you were diagnosed? How long have you survived?  And they even call us: survivors. 

Jesus promised us life eternal.  That means my doctors are wrong.  It is not that they aren’t accurate in worldly terms, but I’m going to live forever. My life span doesn’t end when this aging body dies. Jesus said, over and over, that His mission is about life; He came to bring life, abundant life; His job was to make us immortal once again.  Forever life spans!  If we believe in Him, we are raised up on our last day.  We wake up to eternity.  We close our eyes in one world and open them up in a place of no more pain, no more sin, no more sorrow, no more grief, with a brand-new body.  I’m not limited by a survival rate; I am already living in the atmosphere of eternity.  Thanks to Jesus, my life span is forever. 

When we start living as eternal, immortal believers in Jesus it shifts our perspective.  With all of eternity ahead, there is no limiting factor that this world, or the doctors, can place on us.  Our lives are in the hands of God.  We am not just surviving, because of the life of Jesus Christ in us, we are thriving!  Eternally thriving! When troubles come that seem to drain away life from us, we know that Christ is our eternal source of life, the bread of Heaven given to us who believe, a never-ending source of eternal nutrition that will sustain us not just in this life, but forever.  Our life span is forever. 

Before Church: Who Do You Think You Are?

Who do you think you are? 

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God.  Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to claim anything as coming from us; our sufficiency is from God, Who has qualified us to be ministers of a new covenant, not in a written code, but in the Spirit; for the written code kills, but the Spirit gives life. II Corinthians 3:4-6

Starting something new?  Your internal voice will challenge the new.  Creatures of habit, we humans don’t like change.  If only our consciences were sinless; I could use a little Jiminy Cricket in my life to steer me the right way.  So that internal voice can be right, or it can be wrong, and when I start something new, and maybe you have heard it too, the question comes up: who do you think you are?  Who do you think you are to tell people about God?  Who do you think you are to advocate for life, for suicide prevention?  Who do you think you are, to call people to take career risks that you have avoided for years?  Who do you think you are to interpret Scripture?  Who do you think you are to make sermons, serve communion, or baptize? Who do you think you are to write books?  And to sell them? Who do you think you are?

Most often, it’s of the enemy.  Who am I?  I am a child of the Living God.  I am redeemed, and have the indwelling Holy Spirit to guide me and teach me (way better than Jiminy Cricket!).  I am called by God, entrusted with a ministry.  It may be my church job, it may be my job out in the world, it may be my hobby, but somehow God is going to use me to expand His Kingdom.  And God doesn’t send us out there without resources.  Nothing in the Kingdom of God is wasted.  God gives me experience and education to prepare me. 

I am the mother who lived through the suicide attempt of my daughter.  I am the teacher who went the second mile to not just master mathematics at the collegiate level, but squeezed in a semester in France in order to learn this language well enough to teach it.  I am the mother who has raised five children, children who are all college-educated and employed.  I am the wife of one man, going on four decades now, with deeper joy than I can tell.  I am the seminary graduate, who did not settle for lay ministry but fought through the rigors of a master of divinity program and the ordination process.  All of this came not through me, but through the Spirit of God, the grace of Jesus, because He put before me a path that I could only walk through His Holy Spirit.  He qualifies me, and my sufficiency comes from God Who uses everything in my life to enhance my witness.  

So who am I to do these things?  I am the woman who by life, by faith, by experience, and by education is eminently qualified to share my story, in the hopes that grace will reach new hearts, so they, too, can follow Christ. Who are you?

Before Church: Victims First

Before Church

Sunday August 11, 2019

Confessions of a Church Hopper: Victims First

Isaiah 61:1-5

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor,

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound,

to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God

to comfort all who mourn,

to grant to those who mourn in Zion –

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

Brokenhearted, captive, in prison, bound, mourning, living in ashes – I can think of no better descriptors for victims of child sexual abuse.  And when it happens in church, the wound is that much deeper. How do we respond?  It must always be: victims first.

Wounded church, where a youth pastor sexually abused dozens of young children – that’s one of the churches I wandered into unawares.  Unreported for years these allegations recently surfaced, and church leaders immediately called police and church authorities - exactly the right response.  The perpetrator, who had moved on to another church, was removed from his job and arrested. Then the story broke like a storm in the local media.  Internal investigations from the denomination were thorough, and church discipline was imposed by denominational leaders.  One of the requirements was a sermon on the topic of sexual abuse by clergy, and that’s the Sunday I visited. 

Prayer started the service, prayer for the preaching pastor and for all the victims – not just of this pedophile but for all the silent victims who were undoubtedly sitting in the pews – statistically there were dozens more among us.  I cannot imagine stepping into my dream ministry job only to find out that some evil predecessor had muddied the holy water with the foul filth of his unrepentant sin, devouring the souls of children even as he abused their bodies.  This kind of betrayal does not just harm us physically, it is a soul-rending violence that attacks us in a place where we should be most safe: at church.  It ruptures the trust we should naturally have in people who care for us, and has life-long consequences.  As part of their corporate penance, the pastoral team met with every victim, apologized to them, and worked to find them help for recovery.  The preacher also apologized from the pulpit.  He told the victims not to give up on Jesus Christ or on the Gospel, that God always was and is, trustworthy. 

Real healing for sexual abuse victims comes from exorcising the pain, often buried for years in silence and shame.  Victims find healing in finally telling the truth about what happened, and being assured that it was not their fault.  Sometimes they realize, for the first time ever, that a trusted adult targeted them and used a position of authority to make opportunities to molest, rape, and do violence to them.  The shame belongs not to them, but to the abuser, the guilt belongs, not to them, but to the abuser, the punishment belongs not to them, but to the abuser.  Counselors help victims process their emotional and psychological pain, but spiritual healing only comes from Christ.  And how do we offer spiritual healing when the very place of healing was the place of betrayal?  People who have suffered such abuse sometimes come back to a cleansed church, sometimes go to another church, but often stop going to church altogether.  Who can blame them? 

Public confession is hard, but it is the first and right step for healing the church family.  Silence does not protect the church, but reduces it to a mere institution.  We, as God’s people, are not in the business of preserving institutions, we are in the business of healing through grace. Victims first. Our prayers, our witness, our work should be about healing the wounded.  All of us come to Christ with the need to be healed from something; our testimony of our healing should offer hope to those whose wounds have not yet been bound up.  Christ came and suffered to bind up these wounds that are deep in the brokenhearted, exchanging our ashes and mourning for joy, for comfort, for liberty, for the oil of gladness and garments of praise. Real, deep healing makes us God’s planting of righteous oaks, strong and mighty in His power, re-made by grace.  A mere institution may survive the wounds of sexual abuse, but it is a shell, a building, a social gathering.  A loving community of wounded people seeking and offering healing to each other in Christ will not only survive, but thrive as the people of God, the family of God, the church. Walking the humble path of confession and repentance and restitution together is the only way to cleanse the damage of the abuser and bring spiritual healing to those who suffered abuse.

Are you a victim of sexual abuse?  Have you carried the pain and guilt and shame that belongs to your abuser? Let it go. It’s not your fault.  Come to Jesus.  Let Him shoulder this burden for you.  And seek out some help from a pastor and a Christian counselor.  Find a church where faith meets practical healing, help, and prevention of this evil.  God promises to bind up the brokenhearted; let Him start with you.  Spiritual healing is possible, and it is found in churches filled with the Holy Spirit.

Have we learned our lesson yet?  Have the headlines and court cases about sexual abuse taught us about our responsibility as church members?  A good church does not say, “This could never happen here;” a good church takes all possible precautions to prevent sexual abuse, and also has a protocol in place if allegations ever arise that start with: calling the police, suspending the accused, getting help from denominational leaders.  We can’t be like the world, we can’t protect the church like it’s an institution.  The church is not buildings or bank accounts, the church is people.  Soul-winning and soul-healing is what we are about, and that always starts with victims first.